Hey guys! I am back and I’m better, I want you bad as everrrrrr, don’t just let me- yeahhhhh now the song is stuck in your head. Deal with it. 😂
Let me get back on track, and please, I don’t wanna hear y’all sing. Let Bryson do it. Sing in your head!
So, I’m here to discuss a quote from one of my favorite anime series, Full Metal Alchemist Brotherhood.
It’s very important I say the whole thing because in this muhfucking household, we do not recognize FullMetal Alchemist. We just don’t. Nothing crazy about it, just don’t watch it. Watch Brotherhood, and I cannot stress this enough.
The scene I’ll be discussing is in the last episode, and don’t worry! We don’t do spoilers over here, unless it’s necessary. Y’all know if I was spoiling shit, I would’ve told you before!
I’m not gonna dwell too much on the context, but the quote that stuck with me is when Edward Elric, the MC, narrates:
“There’s no such thing as a painless lesson—they just don’t exist. Sacrifices are necessary. You can’t gain anything without losing something first. Although if you can endure that pain and walk away from it, you’ll find that you now have a heart strong enough to overcome any obstacle. Yeah… a heart made Fullmetal.” (if you wanna watch/listen for yourself, I put the clip below)
Yeah…..take it in! That shit was deep, huh? I’ll give you a moment to sit with that.
*side eyes* take your fucking moment and stop looking at me! I’m not continuing until you do!
You see, the recurring theme in this anime is “Equivalent Exchange”. Irony is funny cuz I Deadass mentioned Bryson Tiller early in this post, and he got a song called Exchange. It’s on his freshman album, Trapsoul. If you haven't heard it, please get that heavy ass rock off you and go listen!
Back on topic, kinda, Equivalent Exchange is a law that means pretty much exactly what it says.
“To gain something of value, something of equal value must be lost or sacrificed.”
So like Bryson said in the song, “So give me all of you in exchange for me.”
Wow, I love how I was able to relate that to this topic! Go me! My brain sometimes does things when it wants to, idk!
So you pretty much get it. If you want something large and great, you gotta give up something that's the same size and value. The first law of alchemy which is what they practice.
Many of you can relate this to many things, but I'm gonna speak on how it relates to me.
One thing I carry with me that is large is my anger.
Yes, yes, I told y’all I'm an angry black woman and proud.
I'm angry with a lot of people and experiences. Mainly, I’ve been angry with myself because a lot of times, I feel responsible for the misery I endured. Somehow, someway, I could've prevented it. There's something I could've done to change the outcome.
I know at this point, y’all are thinking “no, you couldn’t,” well, try convincing my fuckass brain that.
Yes, I am hard on myself. I can sit here and tell you that it all started with my parents, WHICH IT DID, but I'm not gonna do that.
I'm fully aware that this anger I carry is heavy, but deep down, the anger is a suit of armor for me. I'm not using that as an excuse, but a reason. My anger protects me. It has protected me for so long; however, it also wounds me.
What a fucking oxymoron.
I'm not ashamed to admit that the rage I feel inside has fucked me hard, in the ass, with no lube or spit, no words of praise in my ear, no safe word, and aww shit, what the fuck was I talking about again?
Ahh, yes, my anger. Yeah, it’s bad.
However, I do want to let it go so I can walk through life more and receive so many of the great things I desire in my life. Another example of irony is that it makes me even angrier that it’s difficult for me to let my shield go. Walking into the battlefield of life with no armor, no shield, is so scary and foolish to me. I’m realizing that it’s so fucked, but the armor and shield blocked out the bad, but it could block out good.
I have to let go of something so huge in order for me to get that back.
My anger for more opportunities for joy. Sounds like an easy equivalent exchange, but for me, it’s not that simple.
You see, this is so important because ultimately, like they say in the anime, nothing can be created from nothing.
Aight, if you’re reading this far, I have a confession: I’m coming back to this after leaving it for a few weeks because honestly, I was gonna scrap this. That happens a lot. The reason is that I felt like I wasn’t making sense anymore, but fuck it. If I’m not making sense, let me know. I need to update this motherfucking blog, and I currently have no energy to start a new draft or continue the other ones I do have.
Back to what I was saying, another huge thing I’m carrying is my fear and my comfort.
You know how people say that to grow, you gotta be uncomfortable. As much as I hate it, it’s true. Staying in the same area does absolutely nothing for you. Damn, I’m not gonna lie, I’m continuing to write this at damn near 5 AM. I’ve been up since 2:30ish for no fucking reason, and I don’t feel like getting deeper into this. I am so sorry lmaoooo.
The gist of it is that I gotta give that up to gain inner peace or some shit. Whatever.
I’m still not trying to spoil anything, but basically, Edward realized he’s just a human and that’s all he should be. I gotta realize that for myself that I’m just a human. I can’t do everything, and I can’t control anything but myself. My bad, I know this seems rushed and lazy writing, but I am rushing, and I am feeling lazy. At least I'm honest about it 🤷🏾♀️ remember that when I decide to Dazai. I am not referring to the anime character…well, not right now. Idk, I’m not caught up.
The moral of this post is watch FullMetal Alchemist: Brotherhood!
I’m not gonna promise that the next post will be better because I don’t like to lie, and y’all not gonna whoop me, so keep those expectations low 🤠
Anyway, are y’all enjoying the new theme? Let me know! Now, I’m gonna try to go to sleep.
Good night, or good morning, or good- idk leave me alone!
No comments:
Post a Comment