Anime Therapy: Scenes That Rewired My Brain

Warnings: I'm not putting in anime spoilers but idk if y'all consider slight context a spoiler we not gonna be to focused on the scene, niggas! Mentions of trauma/PTSD, mentions of suicide, my normal thug demeanor is gonna come down so you’ll be reading Soft Chrissi and we hate her.

Hey y’all! Welcome back! I see you have your shoes off so you learned from last time 🙂 Anyway for this blog, there will be a series of themes of certain posts.

This one is Anime Therapy and I’m not typing the rest because y’all saw it the first time ✋🏾 I was originally gonna name it “Anime Lobotomy”,  but given the history, I decided against it lol.

Which anime am I gonna be talking about right now? 

Fire Force 🔥🔥🔥

If you haven’t watched, …why? Come outside, we won’t jump you! 🙂

The scene that rewired my brain was from season 1. So yes, very early this anime mentally rocked my shit. I’ll attach the scene below and yes, it’s in dub. If you’re a sub-elitist, please go to hell ❤️

In this scene, the protagonist, Shinra, is having some trouble with the fire he’s faced with. The captain, Obi, gives a pep talk because he sees that Shinra is terrified. Now, fire is scary, but it’s not so much the fire that’s messing with him.

It’s the ✨trauma✨

Facing a traumatic event causes one when triggered, to have one of the following responses:

Fight

Flight

Freeze

Fawn 

Fight is pretty self-explanatory, Flight is escaping the situation, freeze is kinda self-explanatory as well, but, you’re paralyzed with fear and shut down, and Fawn is kissing whoever’s ass to avoid conflict, whether it’s people pleasing or codependency.

At this point, many of you have realized you got trauma responses…….welcome to the damn club. We meet on Thursday nights. 

How does this relate to a little scene from Fire Force, you may ask?…. you can kinda see why. Why tf are you asking me? I’m just kidding…kinda.

Lol anywayssss, without spoiling, Shinra has experienced a traumatic event that involved fire and Freeze was his trauma response when he came in contact with it. And those words from his superior:

“The fear you feel is a survival tool. It helps keep you alive. Just don’t let it make you a coward.”

Those words made Shinra lock in and shit, kinda me too.

I’ll spare y’all the joy of knowing all of my traumas, but I got a shitload of them. I made a couple of my therapists cry and I’m not bragging, just stating a sad fact.

That president, Franklin D. Roosevelt, said, “We have nothing to fear but fear itself.” Now, I will Google that right now because I know I’m right, but I don’t want to look stupid.

I’m back. Yeah, it’s him for sure. The one with the polio. Yeah, to be honest, he was just saying that shit, trying to get reelected. He didn’t even know what the fuck he was talking about, but I have an interpretation of that bullshit ass quote.

To be honest, we all have fear. That’s part of our humanity. We should fear fear because fear often stops us from being alive. When you’re scared of certain things, it stops you from living your life to the fullest and that should scare you.

I am a person with fears. I have a lot of fears. My attachment style is fearful-avoidant. If you guys google it right now, my face pops up, I swear. 

I just lied for no reason. You will not see my face.

We all have attachment styles and I strongly suggest finding out which one you have so you can know exactly what kind of pussy you are. I AM JOKING! I’m clearly joking because I would have to call myself a pussy, which I wouldn’t mind too much. After all, you are what- never mind.

Along with my attachment style, I have an actual diagnosis of PTSD. I’m dead-ass. A psychiatrist diagnosed me. With this PTSD and attachment style, I’m just a big beam of fucking light, huh?

I have issues. I have trust issues, I have abandonment issues, I got issues, yeah bitch, I got issues, W, Vogue, Cosmo, I GOT ISSUES!

My bad. Let me be serious again. My undiagnosed ADHD is just jumping out.

All of this causes me to fear closeness, vulnerability, and many things that come with being in relationships, platonic and romantic. I’ve been hurt many times in many ways, and I would like to avoid that at all costs. I grew a hard shell because it was armor to me. Why give motherfuckers the chance to hurt me? I have given chances and got let down. 

Nobody was protecting my heart, my body, and my soul. I only had myself.

It got to the point where I was mad at myself for my trauma. I was mad as fuck that I couldn’t be normal and go about my damn life without all these fears and anxieties. The shell grew harder and harder with every heartbreak and every attack. So you could imagine how hard it is to break that damn shell. Only the strongest survive my bullshit. Shoutout to y’all ❤️

Anyways, why do y’all let me lowkey get distracted? Back on topic, I felt like I was weak and cowardly for letting these issues hold me back in life, but I couldn’t help it. I just can’t. Ultimately, I’m left with severe depression, which once again, I'm diagnosed with the shit by a psychiatrist! Yeah, I wouldn’t be writing this right now if I was so positive back then that my reverse birth techniques would work. Because honestly, that’ll be so embarrassing if I failed and I just can’t deal with that shit because I will try again. Why y’all let me get off topic again???

Seeing this anime scene was so important to me because Captain Obi didn’t berate Shinra for being afraid. He didn’t tell him to “just get over it” as people have told me. He saw him. He validated him. He told him his fear was valid, his fear was for his survival. Then he hit him with something real.

Fear is protection, it’s armor, but you have to put that armor down to get shit done. You gotta live your motherfucking life, and how can one do that under that shield? Yes, you’re blocking out the bad, but you’re also blocking out the good. It is cowardly to be afraid to experience the life you were given. You are human. This human shit is scary, but we have to do it so we might as hell enjoy this shit.

After all this, I’m not gonna lie, I’m probably still gonna be the cold bitch I am. This healing shit takes time! But y’all…don’t be like me and live your motherfucking life because mine will come to an end if I got something to say about it!

Let me stop with the suicide jokes before y’all get the people on me. I mean they’re semi-jokes... I guess. Y’all, don’t call them people on me!

So aight, this blog post is done because I’m finished talking. I hope y’all enjoyed this and got something out of this. Hopefully a positive something, but if it’s negative, that’s okay. 😊